There are numerous techniques to combat jealousy, but one of the most effective tool is the downward technique which asks you to evaluate the core of your subconscious being to find out which fear or belief drives you. This particular technique is used by professional therapists and is extremely effective for finding out what triggers your emotions. If you are suffering from jealous emotions, this tool can help you find out why they occur, simply by asking a series of questions.
Your core belief is your underlying assumption of yourself, of the world and all your friends. This is the foundation of your being, yet we don’t even recognise it. Finding it out through the downward arrow technique will help you find out why you have jealous emotions and how you can overcome your core belief. In many cases, the core belief is irrational and you’ll realise it yourself, but other times, when you believe your core belief is true, you must challenge it to convince yourself otherwise. This will help you overcome your triggers to jealousy and will help you understand your emotions better.
In order to uncover your core belief, you need to note down a thought or event which bothered you and ask yourself “What does this mean about me”
So if you thought “My boyfriend spends too much time with his female friends”
What does this mean about me? – He doesn’t find me interesting
What does this mean about me? – I’m not interesting enough to attract him
What does this mean about me? – I lack qualities to attract my boyfriend
What does this mean about me? – I don’t deserve my boyfriend
What does this mean about me? – I don’t deserve to be loved
Core belief: I don’t deserve to be loved
Now that you’ve found out your core belief, it’s time t reconstruct that belief and convince yourself otherwise. In the above mentioned case, the person must have several qualities to deserve being loved, that person must note them down and remember them. The core belief must be changed to prevent these feelings of jealousy and challenging the belief is the best way to do it. After you’ve reconstructed your belief, you’ll have found that you are no longer facing frequent jealous emotions.